Okay... I don't know what to say other than I really messed up this summer... It seems like everything that could possibly go wrong, has gone wrong in the past couple months. It seems as though I barely figure out how to deal with one problem and the next one is staring me in the face. Take my vegetable garden for example. First I had leaf miners on my chard and beet tops, then I had leaf spot on my tomatoes. Then I noticed what looked like verticillium wilt and blight on my potatoes. I had to pull up a couple of plants because of it too. Then just when my tomato plants began setting fruit, the stem split right down the center! How the heck does that happen?
To be honest, I feel like a pretty big failure at this point. On top of all that, I've been spending most of my time in bed wasting the days away moping. My life is pretty good so I know it must be my depression really taking hold right now. I get so angry at myself at times like this. I should be doing so much more but I just cant seem to snap out of it. It's not as easy as that. I feel like there is a physical barrier between me and what I want to accomplish. Anyone with depression or chronic fatigue probably knows what I'm talking about. What makes things even worse is when people accuse me of being lazy. I am NOT lazy! If I were lazy I wouldn't be so damn distraught over not being able to do more right now! Excuse me for being so blunt but this is a very real thing and I don't think most people understand.
Every bone in my body is telling me I need to write something positive now, so I will try my best...
I've been going on how much of a failure my garden is, when really, it should be considered a success. I discovered a way to control the leaf miners on my greens and therefore have had a bountiful harvest! I also cured the leaf spot from my tomatoes which from what I hear isn't easy. I need to celebrate those two victories and realize I am still in the learning process. Things are bound to go wrong but those will be my learning experiences. I might even post how I organically dealt with the leaf miners because I think there needs to be more information on the subject. Maybe I'll find an even better way to deal with them in the future, but by getting proactive, I was able to minimize the damage.
Anyways, I think I might need another nap... Hopefully I'll be doing better next time I write
Until next time... Painted Lady
